I remember when I went to visit the ward before I attended my interview. Sometimes a throw away remark by a member of staff can contain so much information, clues to what the job may be like for staff. The sister said to me 'it's sink or swim here, you either survive or...'. And now I know what she means.
These 2 weeks contain my supernumerary shift with other nurses. These nurses are a great support and they constantly reassure me that even when the 2 weeks is up I will hardly have scratched the surface of my experience. However today, for the first time in my blue dress, I was standing in the throng of nurses, doctors, physios, OTs and other staff, taking a handover and trying to organize management of my patients...and ....I was totally out of my depth. As though I was at the bottom of a deep ocean of murky, inky water with the blurred glimmer of sky and sun far above me.
When I made a foolish mistake when I was handing over, the whole collection of people heard, when I tried to back peddle and appear in charge, the whole collection of people heard...in fact my lack of knowledge and experience was there for all to see. It was not a very comfortable place to be. Can you relate?
My conclusion is to embrace being prepared to act and speak, knowing all can hear you, and not be too self-conscious. Be prepared to speak up and take risks, which of course includes getting it wrong publicly. At which point be prepared to chuckle at yourself and not beat yourself up too much.
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